Good For You

'good 4 u' by Olivia Rodrigo.

Best. Breakup song. Ever.

Don’t even argue with me on this one.

Now, lots of people have been sharing their Spotify Wrapped for 2021 at the moment. Cool. Good for you (see what I did there). I, on the other hand, have not. I don’t tend to share a lot of my life on my personal Instagram anyway (my last post was three years ago to give you an idea), but for some reason sharing what you’ve listened to over the last 365 days with everybody is the thing to do. I'll be honest, it seems a little pretentious and mildly annoying. If you were one of those people, then whoops, sorry. Don't click away please! Most people aren’t interested in knowing or remembering who your top five artists are, especially if you’re one of those that claim to be ‘different to other people’ but only listens to a rotation of Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande.

I’ll admit, I have told a few people in person that ‘good 4 u’ was my most listened to song. But I’ve seen so many people share that they too are in the top 1% of “such and such’s” listeners worldwide, that suddenly my loyalty to Olivia Rodrigo doesn’t feel so special anymore. And here I was hoping she’d send me some free merch and a personal thank you letter for helping her climb the ranks in the music world. Darn.

But, I digress. Back to breakups and douchebags.

I don’t know what my girl Liv went through to write such a perfect song, but clearly, there are too many dropkick guys roaming free around the world! And honestly, it’s kind of scary that her lyrics fit my life and my ex as perfectly as they obviously fit hers. What is wrong with so many of the boys of today? (I nearly wrote men, but they don’t deserve to be called such).

And judging by the fact that there are so many women around the world who relate to 'good 4 u' (heck, Olivia's debut album 'SOUR' featured as the top #1 album for 2021 globally, with 'good 4 u' sitting at number 4 as the top song in the world), as well as the numerous other breakup songs by artists like Taylor Swift, suggests that there is a real issue that has gotten out of hand. (If you need some music therapy to get over a particularly sucky ex-boyfriend, please check out a playlist specifically hand-crafted for you and me by a good friend here).

We're in a 'pandemic' that our politicians claim will 'hunt us down' (yep, I went there), but honestly, the pandemic of terrible guys hunting down and preying on women scares me more at this point. The narcissistic, apathetic, and even abusive behaviour of Christian and non-Christian guys alike is appalling. Olivia says it well in the bridge of 'good 4 u':

Maybe I'm too emotional

Your apathy is like a wound in salt

Maybe I'm too emotional

Or maybe you never cared at all

I struggled with this while I was with my ex-boyfriend. Was I just overreacting? Was I being too emotional? I want to say now - if you feel like this on a regular basis and if your guy makes you doubt yourself, feel unsafe, or only says he loves you after he's hurt you, he just might not care at all. So get out of there, blast 'good 4 u' on repeat, and eat some chocolate. You might need therapy too (you're not alone there friend!) and it will take a while to heal. That's what I'm still doing - it's been nearly 8 months since we broke up and I can't see the finish line yet. But I've been told that time is my friend and I will come out of this stronger. I struggle to believe this at the moment, but I share this with you in the hope that while you may not believe it yet either, at least we can be in good company and come to believe it together. *sending virtual hugs your way! Or finger guns and a corny grin if you're not a hugger - all are welcome here*

I wish I had a solution to this pandemic of perfidious boys, or at least that I had a hope that there were some generally nice guys out there. But I don't at the moment, and I haven't got a solution. I wish I could go back in time and change so many things. And I wish I could change them for you too. But I can't, and neither can you. I'm not angry at God for allowing those experiences to have happened, but you might be. And that's ok. Tell Him that. He already knows anyway.

Make no mistake though, I am angry. Very much so. So, I will continue to play 'good 4 u' and rage with God until I'm not anymore. And if you're afraid to ugly cry, or lean into the hurt, or just be downright mad, I give you permission. Don't hold back. Yell and cry and hurt for as long as it takes to heal. Let's do it together so that when we're done, we can say to all the people that did wrong by us, "good for me, I'm done with you".

#honestlyimperfect #good4u #breakup