Welcome to the Antisocial Social Club

I'm an introvert.

Now, I know this. Obviously. Yet for some reason, a lot of people feel the need to tell me that I am in fact an introvert. Usually, they're extroverts. Gee, what a surprise.

And for some reason, I really don't have any true introvert friends. It's like I'm a magnet for extroverts, which makes it rather difficult when trying to coordinate social events (because I go to sooo many of those - most of them are family gatherings at the moment, and that's a whole other ball game).

I also have anxiety, which makes it doubly difficult for anyone to get me anywhere without bribing me first using the promise of serenity, bed, and a book once I get home.

It's not that I don't like people (well...), because I do (ok, most people). It's just that being around people (any group larger than two really), especially if they are extroverted, is utterly exhausting. Add anxiety into the mix, and I don't even want to go to the grocery store or fill up my car at the servo. Because what if I run into someone I know who I really don't want to stop and have a conversation with, looking like I haven't slept or washed in the last three days? (Gosh, why does that always happen? You look great when no one is around to see you and then when you look rubbish you run into someone you haven't seen in years?) What if the guy at the counter strikes up a conversation (as he has been known to do) while I'm paying for petrol, my neck aching from leaning over my textbooks all day at uni and desperately wanting to get home which is so tantalisingly close, two minutes away?

As my family tells me, I'm too nice. I smile. I wave back. I engage in polite conversation.

Because at my core, I would feel terrible blowing someone off and being rude. It's just not me.

And it's not to say that I don't genuinely enjoy seeing some people and chatting with them when I bump into them. But some days (fine, most days), my social battery just can't take it.

And to be honest, my battery dies quicker than normal at the moment due to my body and mind still recovering as I process through my trauma and depression - that is draining in and of itself. I have to really mentally prepare myself for anything involving people outside my family. Even then, I have been known to cancel last minute on people or am genuinely relieved when they do so first. Or when I have been at parties in the past (especially if I know I won't know many people or if I feel uncomfortable), I always bring a book to read and I make fast friends with the pets (dogs are great emotional comfort by the way, better than people).

So I guess, to some people (especially extroverts), I may come across as antisocial.

But really, it just takes the right people to bring out the social-ness in me *only for a couple of hours at a time though haha*.

I have loved my extroverted friends, but I would appreciate them not bringing up the fact that I'm introverted all the time! I accept that you are extroverted without bringing it up, can you not do the same for me?

It would be nice to have an introverted friend for a change though, someone who doesn't mind just sitting in each other's company without saying a word whilst reading or going for a nice casual stroll along the waterfront and having a quiet picnic together. Something low-key once a month. Not feeling obligated to go out somewhere every day for hours at a time and skydive or wander through a cow paddock that is a two-hour drive away (I'm not kidding, these have been serious suggestions made to me) whilst maintaining a conversation speed that's as fast as the car going down the motorway.

Basically, I want my own anti-social social club.

Ah, wouldn't that be nice... not having to spend at least a week recovering from just two social events over a weekend (which, by the way, includes messaging and phone calls - they're just as exhausting you know!)?

A girl can dream.

So, on the eve of 2021's New Year's Eve, I just want to say:

If you are an extrovert, go easy on your introvert friends this next year. If they don't come out and party or socialise, don't remind them of their introverted-ness. Don't pressure them with constant messages and phone calls every day. If they don't reply to you for a few days (or weeks), know that it's not you. Your introvert friend is just trying to survive. They'll pop their head out of their shell eventually and be grateful for friends that continue to love them. And remember, keep inviting them to things. They most likely won't come to many of them, but having the option to say yes and knowing that they are included in plans means a lot to introverts.

And if you are an introvert, be thankful for your extrovert friends in 2022. While they may be exhausting at times, I'm sure many great memories have been made because they invited you out and you finally said yes. Also, don't forget that every time you go to the shops or fill up your car at the servo, or wherever you go (especially where there are people) - you are so brave. And I pray that we introverts find some more introverts to hang out with so we can be brave together.

But for now, if you are reading this and you too are an introvert, welcome to the honestly imperfect anti-social social club.

#honestlyimperfect #introvert #antisocialsocialclub #lifeishard